If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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