While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
