you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize