you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize