i think i have two assholes
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
