It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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