Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
