I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
