did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
