I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
