zippers are such a cool invention
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
