She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
