sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Randomize
