google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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