My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Girls should come with a carfax report
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
