dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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