Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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