Sry I called you an 8
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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