No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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