i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
