I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Girls should come with a carfax report
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
