margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
