It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
