yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
