their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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