Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
