Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
