its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize