I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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