you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Who died my cat blue again?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
