Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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