why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I love having hate sex.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
