its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
