someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
