I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
