The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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