They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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