piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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