OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
