Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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