Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I deserve this hangover.
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