I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
we have pet lesbian snakes
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
