If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
please don't ironically join a cult
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