dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
