just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
