awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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