You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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