That's intense
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
