the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
