Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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