I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
