ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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