i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
