It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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