found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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