Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
