I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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