I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
