I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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