Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
