marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Christians are straight up FREAKS
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
