I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Green mimosas i think yes
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
