So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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