apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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